Aaaargh! Darn glitter!

24 May

There’s a few things I don’t like having in my house….. besides kids that is…… Glitter is one of them! The stuff gets everywhere and somehow you can never get rid of it. So my kids are deprived of the ability to explore their creative side when it comes to incorporating glitter into their days.

I’m still at home with the invalid. Of course I stayed up way to late last night trying to figure out how to use this whole blogging deal. Was exhausted this morning. Toddler Child woke up a little too early for my liking. I dragged her into bed with me and she was making those fussing noises. You know the ones where you know they’re not actually going to go back to sleep? Well those. She made them… lots of them…. and they were loud. I peeked at her through bleary eyes but it was too late. She made eye contact. That was it…. I had to get up.

Middle Child of course was resting comfortably on the sofa having had a luxurious sleep and I knew she went to bed late. I wasn’t about to wake her up and add another moody mouth to the mix this morning so I quickly threw my clothes on, dressed Toddler and shovelled some food down her throat before I dropped her to day-care. Ahhhhh… Bed. That would have been the sensible thing to do when I got back for an hour or so right?

Well, I never did say I was sensible though did I?! I decided to actually try to have a bath! You remember those things? They were things that happened PC (PRE CHILDREN). If I remember correctly it involves languishing, soaping, bubbles, even candles. Ahhhhh yes! I was going to have a bath. Had a quick peek at Middle Child, she was still sound asleep. I got so excited at the prospect of ME time I nearly pee’d myself! Boy this was gonna be good!

Bath running nicely, bubbles, smelly things, I even put a little table in the bathroom and propped my laptop on it so I could watch the latest episode of Army Wives (sad I know) and I hopped right in there. I’d like to imagine I slipped daintily into a warm infusion of bubbles and essential oils but no. I HOPPED, so excited I was.

I washed my hair, shaved my legs, lounged, added more hot water! Imagine that! I actually had time for it to get cold while I watched TV! Check me out! Ha! Normally it’s a 3.5 minute rush in and out the shower whilst Middle Child is shouting something at me about some last minute thing she needs for school and Toddler Child is banging on the shower door and opening it and shutting it thereby making my whole bathroom floor soaking wet. This was BLISS! I’m totally rocking out today!

I towelled off, changed my clothes. Middle Child awoke so I stopped preparing myself for the day. Selfish time over, I went to see to Madame’s needs. And there I was, suddenly three hours whizzed by and we were late for an appointment. Where does the time go. I rushed around grabbing what we needed and decided at the last minute to run into my bathroom and put some mascara on so I would be just a little less scary…….

And there it was! AAAAAAARGH! GLITTER!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG!!!!! OMG! GLITTTTTTEEEEEER! IN MYYYYYYYY HOUSE!!!!!! Breathe woman breathe! I can handle this. I can I can I can…… But I don’t have time. We have to be out the door in precisely 2 minutes AGO! As in we are already late.Ā  What the hell am I going to do? How can I fix this? I stare in the mirror and decide that perhaps it’s best to pretend I haven’t seen myself yet and put some sunglasses on and leave. I am absolutely covered HEAD TO TOE, mostly all over my FACE with GLITTER!

How you may ask? Well, it was that relaxing bath I had in the children’s bathroom wasn’t it?! Turns out Middle Child has MOISTURISER infused with scents and GLITTER! And she put it all over herself… and then all over the towel that I then dried myself off with. Darn you Hannah Montana Body Glitter Moisturiser. So today, yet again, I stepped out into the world looking like a complete manic moron who has no sense of organisation in her life. Ta for that kids! You’re doing my street cred no favours!

PS. For those of you interested in glitter. I’ve included a picture and a link to buy this stuff! It says…. ” Shimmer Body Lotion – Leaves your skin beautifully soft with a pop star shimmer”! I will warn you though. I DON’T feel like a pop star and people didn’t look at me like I was one. Full body and face glitter when you’re 40 is not a good look!


Posted by on May 24, 2011 in May 2011


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7 responses to “Aaaargh! Darn glitter!

  1. H is for Home

    May 24, 2011 at 11:55 pm

    3 posts in 2 days!

    OK, I’ve subscribed – now I’ve made the commitment to you, you’ve got yo keep it up – I’m watching you! šŸ˜‰

  2. Megan (duchess)

    May 25, 2011 at 10:34 pm

    I’m so with you on the glitter. Reading this makes me happy I only have boys!

    • singlemotherstories

      May 25, 2011 at 10:40 pm

      ahhhhh …… boys…… lucky you! Though that reminds me now to blog about the time my son demonstrated his newly found manhood at age 2 to me in a most inappropriate place…… watch this space and thanks for reading! Megs! Applehouse looking great by the way!

  3. Elizabeth

    May 27, 2011 at 4:48 am

    Hilarious ……I can see you now walking down the street….sunglasses and all. Toooooooo funny woman.

  4. katetapping

    November 24, 2011 at 10:08 pm

    I think having a bath in the morning when you have kids in the house, could be used as an alternative definition of the word ‘optimism’. Well done, even if it ended in a glittery mess šŸ™‚

    • singlemotherstories

      November 24, 2011 at 10:18 pm

      Ha HA! True… just had a look at your blog…. How’s the Yes Mum thing going? Perhaps I am hoping for “yes Children” who will go do something calm and productive when I say “I’m going in the bath… leave me alone for about 45 minutes”!


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