For 26 days of the month I am normal. Well, as normal as I come anyways. But for those 26 days of the month everyone and everything else comes first. To be honest, besides shovelling down some food as fast as I can for lack of time, showering for a few quick minutes each day and possibly if I have time putting on a little make up, I manage to get maybe six hours sleep. The rest of my time is dedicated to making sure everyone else’s lives run smoothly.
For just two days….. TWO days, you hear that????
TWO FREAKING DAYS!
I just want everyone to back off and leave me alone.
It’s my PERSONAL ME TIME.
ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME
No one else.
I don’t care about the particular pair of black socks with little pink stars on them. I don’t give a damn if they are in the wash, under the bed or in the car. Find them yourself and better yet, wash them if you want clean ones. In fact. Don’t even bother me with your issue. Wear the black ones with white spots on for all I care. Would it really kill you to do that?
I don’t care about what YOU want for dinner…… or breakfast…. or lunch. We’re having what I want. END OF. If you don’t want it, make something yourself. And don’t make a mess in my kitchen either. Get in, get out and make sure it looks like you were never there.
Let me explain something to you…. I try to channel myself for TWO days a month so I don’t have to affect anyone else. I take all that negative energy and turn it into something constructive. My assistant at work…. I love her….. had a bit of a shock the first time she encountered it. She came in and I had emptied the WHOLE supplies closet. It’s more like a room in size to be honest. But I was so fed up of the mess I inherited, I waited till it was PERSONAL ME TIME and I attacked that thing like there was no tomorrow. She was smart. She left me alone. She took direction without question when I wanted some help but the rest of the time, she said nothing, she did nothing and most importantly… I DID NOTHING TO HER. Two days later… everything was back to normal and we had the most fabulously clean and organised supplies store in the country.
Now, if you can’t accept the fact that if you leave me alone then I will leave you alone and wonderful things like rooms being repainted or curtains being made and installed or that shower that hasn’t been working right for months will get fixed, be prepared to have your head chomped right off.
In the event that you are an argumentative so and so and you prefer the term PMS to PMT… then get this. I got you there too.
DON’T MESS WITH ME!
It’s my PERSONAL MIND SPACE time then.
A time of the month when I want to regroup. Assimilate my thoughts and get some sleep and not have everyone else’s thoughts being injected into my head. I hope I am being clear. With that….. I’m leaving….. PLEASE…. do YOURSELF a favour and go in the other direction.
Thanks…… now you sleep well now… see you in two days!!! I’m off to have a super long shower, paint my toe nails and I’m going to put up that curtain rail I have been meaning to do for about ten months. AND NO….. I DON’T WANT YOUR HELP EITHER.
We’ll laugh about this in a couple of days…. I promise. In the mean time… pretend I am invisible and that I’ve gone on holiday or something.