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Category Archives: Christmas

Excuse me whilst I experience “Near Death”


Apparently I am suffering from PLEURISY!!!

 

Nothing funny to say about that, sorry. I feel like crap, I really do feel like I am near death. I am conscious for about 2 hours a day and I can hardly breathe. So I’ll see you the other side of the year, hopefully I will be back to normal by then. Right now I need all my resources to get well.

 

Have a great Christmas everyone.

 

P.S. God….. If you let me get well again, I promise to never let my lungs near a cigarette, another smoker, or even a BBQ pit ever ever again….. I’ve learned my lesson.

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Posted by on December 11, 2011 in Christmas, Dec 2011, Smoking

 

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Dear Santa….. it’s me….. I’ve been good!


Oh how I wish Santa really did exist. But never mind. I’m a grown up now… I can deal with it, really, I can! Anyways…. The point of my story…. we all know Santa DOES NOT exist but we like getting lots of presents still. I don’t know about you, but there’s still a rather large child inside of me who loves waking up and unwrapping lots of presents. Thing is though, the world seems to be in an even bigger economic crisis than last year. So this year I thought I would be helpful. I know my family will be out buying me all sorts of presents and I don’t want them to waste their precious money.

SO I SENT THEM ALL AN EMAIL!

“Here’s a little listy of things I would like for Christmas….

A NICE shower cap…… for my new shower experience!

A set of NICE glasses for drinking in ( I am down to about 2 glass ones…. everything else is plastic and don’t ask me why, but thanks to people coming here with wine AND GLASSES… I have plenty wine glasses but NO WINE!!!!!)

Alcohol in the form of rum, cheap box wine (pink) or knock off Baileys is always welcome.

A manicure and a baby sitter while I go have one.

A house in the med – a warm part, preferably English speaking as I am too old to learn a new language.

Monogrammed towels and bathrobe for my pool by my house in the med.

Sore throat spray (just cause I have a really really sore throat like RIGHT NOW and it’s hurting like mad)

A really nice ceramic plant pot as I currently have one of my plants in nasty brown plastic containers sitting in a tupperware bowl ON DISPLAY IN MY LIVING ROOM!

Art for my wall (it’s my new thing) or frames (since I finally got a battery for my camera and plan on taking photos again)

I’d like my Kitchen Aid mixer to be fixed so I can keep supplying the family with breads and cakes and I hate kneading dough or whipping by hand

“Raising your Spirited Child” the WORKBOOK by Mary S. Kurcinka – I’d like the book too but I can maybe borrow that in the library

Some muscle men to wrestle cash out of those who owe it to me so I can get the noose of debt off from round my neck and live without fear of bailiffs.

A Lifetime supply of ciggies or a magic pill to take ciggie cravings away forever

Vouchers for electricity company so I can have some heating on! (I think I have finally succumbed to winter today… it’s cold today eh?)

I think that’s it. Of course frivolous items are always welcomed as well or in favour of…… but in light of current economic climate….. If you’re really stuck for ideas that would be of some use to me…… knock yourselves out…..

I DO NOT NEED CLOTHES, SHOES, UNDERWEAR OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT I WEAR ON MY PERSON…… UNLESS OF COURSE YOU WERE PLANNING ON BUYING ME A TWIN SET OF PEARLS, AN ETERNITY PLATINUM DIAMOND RING OR 1CT DIAMOND EAR RINGS.

Love you all!!!”

My sister called to tell me she got my list. She laughed….. I know it must be because she wants me to think I am getting nothing so I will still be surprised. I spoke with my mother and my father on separate occasions today. I KNOW they read their emails because they sent me emails about other things…. So I guess they must have bought me stuff already and are really disappointed that they didn’t get my recommendations in time. My son however…. I think he’s getting me the house in the Med! He sent me this reply…..

“Hi,

I would to like to say that i loved your writing style.. its so mad! and funny too…
Plus i wont give you the Lifetime supply of ciggies or a magic pill to take ciggie cravings away forever…it would cost me  LOTS
 And what the hell is a house in the med? 

From your silly son “

I can’t wait for Christmas…. of course I sent him a response immediately with a picture of just what I’m looking for! Hope someone gets me the wine to sit by the pool with!

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2011 in Christmas

 

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So this one time at band camp…..


I thought I would build a doll house….. but then I realised it was hard….. so I stole someone else’s plans…. and then I made critical mistakes with the materials I was using…. and it got even harder….. and I was about to give up…. but then I realised it wasn’t so hard after all…….

How hard could it have been right???? Well, after the saga with the plans and finding the lovely Erin’s plans online which look far more achievable for my skills and to do on my own and most importantly to get done by Christmas…… then there was the disaster with the gypsum.The bloody thing couldn’t be screwed together!

I decided last night that I was no doll house maker and I certainly couldn’t make them for a living. In fact, when I had first mentioned to my parents what I was doing… out of my father’s mouth was …

” Where on earth are you going to put it?”

 

Thanks for the leap of faith there pops!

 

Out of my mother’s mouth was….

“Why don’t you just use cardboard boxes and stick them together?”

 

What was wrong with this woman? How could I present Toddler Child with a stack of duct taped cardboard boxes for Christmas? Doesn’t she know anything?

Anyways… their words were ringing in my ears last night as I went to bed.

WHAT was I really thinking when I started this?

I felt flat. It was falling apart.. literally. The nails and screws weren’t holding in the gypsum. The glue wasn’t holding the sides on either ’cause there’s not enough surface area. I was really worried and thought I might have to ditch it. It plagued me all night. How could I make this right??? How could I add more glue? I needed to support the sides onto the base and I couldn’t use a bracket as it would need screwing in. I needed something with glue.

GERONIMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I woke up with renewed enthusiasm… THIS WILL WORK! I was going to add SKIRTING BOARDS!!!!! That way I could glue the sides and the base to the skirting!!!! HURRAH!!!! Added to this, overnight, the glue had worked so I was more enthused to get back to that hardware store ASAP.

Now if you have been following this blog, you will know that the main purpose of building it myself was to save cash….. STRIKE THAT… the main purpose of doing it myself is for MY PLEASURE and so that Toddler Child will have an hierloom to pass onto her children that their Grandmother made way back when. That change of plan suits my purpose so let’s just run with that ’cause the bills are adding up and I don’t even want to look anymore.

 

About a year and a half ago I was at  Middle Child’s School Fair and right at the end of the day everything was being sold cheap. I bought a box of knick knacks for 10p. In the box was a door and two windows. I decided I could make use of them for this and dug them out of the loft. Holes cut, jigsaw blade broken (more money).

 

I think the house is going to look rather spectacular after all!!!

 

Middle Child chose some naff paint that was on sale but it actually looks pretty good! I’m quite impressed if I may say so myself!!! I might be a doll house architect, structural engineer and A1 carpenter after all! Toddler Child is starting to notice that it’s not just a hunk of wood so I am going to have to move this into the loft and decorate it in secret. Middle Child and I can’t wait to start wall papering and painting the insides, though I dread the crazy scheme she is going to choose. NEver mind…. she can have this project. Now I know I can do this and I have learned from mistakes made….. for my next project I will be making……

 

Night folks! Sleep Tight! Got to get to bed and dream of future construction projects! I might be a Doll House property developer after all!!!! xo xo

 

 

 
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Posted by on October 23, 2011 in Christmas, Doll House, Oct 2011

 

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Today I learned that…….


They say that every day is an opportunity to learn something new. Today I learned that I am not going to be creating a doll house emporium as a new business venture!

In fact, I learned alot of things today. Firstly I started drawing my plans onto all the MDF I bought. I didn’t have enough…. so we slopped on back to the hardware store to buy more…. Thing is though. This was getting costly. MDF is £11 a sheet. I had already bought and sketched on 3. Mentally I was working out whether my friend was right and that I should have bought a kit. Desperate to prove her wrong, I bought 3 sheets of gypsum at £3 a sheet instead.

Lesson 1

There lies lesson number 1 for the day. We got home with this incredibly fragile gypsum and I started sketching on that. Of course Toddler Child was very excited about the happenings in our living room. The floor was covered in materials. She stomped and jumped and shrieked with delight. I screamed and shouted and turned red with frustration. Developers actually build houses out of this stuff…. well the internal walls anyway. How on earth do the houses not fall apar???? This stuff was crumbling before my eyes. Gypsum is NOT suitable for building a doll house. But here I was with half my house sketched on MDF and the other half sketched on cheap gypsum.

Lesson 2

Finally with all the shapes drawn out, we took out the jigsaw. Lesson number 2 learned. Apartments are not designed for sawing in and certainly not for sawing gypsum… That stuff sure is messy! In fact… note to self…. get dust masks!! We were in a fog of gypsum dust. I was getting more frustrated. Middle Child was frantically running around opening windows and fanning the dust out…… And it was COLD outside today! Despite that…. I persevered and cut the rest out in the shivering cold.

Lesson 3

Great….. time to start putting this thing together. Dust vacuumed up and excitement about construction had begun. Toddler Child in bed and Middle Child on the ready to help. Lesson 3 begins…… Middle Child is NOT going to be a construction worker and won’t be anyone’s employee either. She DOES NOT take instructions well and was no help at all.

All in all, we have more or less the whole thing put together. I’ve left the roof off for now because …..

1. I’m tired and I want to go to bed

2. I have convinced myself it will be easier to decorate with the roof OFF.

I’m happy with the progress but to be honest, with half the house being constructed of what can only be described as CHALK and it being held together with a combination of glue, screws and nails, I’m not sure that I will be able to allow Toddler Child to play with it unattended for fear that it might fall apart and I might have to make a new one!

Let’s see what tomorrow brings! Nighty night . xoxo

 
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Posted by on October 22, 2011 in Christmas, Doll House, Oct 2011

 

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The Best Laid Plans……


What is it they say about the best laid plans??? I can’t remember but I know the planning phase is important…. really important….. Especially when dealing with cutting up wood.

MEASURE TWICE …. CUT ONCE!!!

I know THAT is important. So I spent a long time last night look at houses. Looking for plans. As it happens… do you know there are like 3 doll house plans available online for free? Anyways. By 2 a.m., having transferred my initial photo onto a floor plan like three times, I realised that it was going to be a 4.5ft by 3.5ft monstrosity that would take up half my living room. Did I mention that I live in an apartment? I have no garage or outside area to be doing all this cutting and sawing. No workroom or utility room…….. No NO NOOOOO! My dining table is my work bench….. so having tried to put this thing on to paper…… I realised that it couldn’t work.

I also realised that I needed a degree in ARCHITECTURE, STRUCTURAL ENGINEERING and probably a stint in and asylum. What the hell was I thinking? But I had all the materials now so I HAD to produce something. In earnest, I started looking at REAL house plans for inspiration….. blimey… they looked complicated too. So what turned out to be my initial idea of how my dolls house would look…… ~(click picture for full article)

…..has turned into something much simpler…. cause I have realised something profound today……

I KNOW I WILL FAIL SO ANYTHING I DO IS AN ACCOMPLISHMENT!

I found this brilliant plan by a fellow blogger. These plans I can follow and understand. It’s simple and therefore STURDY in the hands of Toddler Child. Middle Child and I are going to bling it out. The end result will be amazing. And more importantly….. IT WILL BE DONE BY CHRISTMAS!

Keep tuned….. heading to bed to plan wallpapering scheme and scratch “Architecture Degree” off my TO DO list! Night all!!!

 
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Posted by on October 21, 2011 in Christmas, Doll House, Oct 2011

 

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The Doll House…. The beginning of the end….. OF ME!!!!


I have no idea what I was thinking… well, I do actually. CHRISTMAS……. it’s coming….. FAST! And I have to fit those kids out with pressies. It’s Toddler Child’s first PROPER christmas….. she knows who Santa is now and knows that wrapping paper has wonderful surprises inside…… So she needs fabulous things to unwrap. As for the other two…. well they’re older….. AKA….. EXPENSIVE! So I have been slowly organising presents for months and stashing them away.

Wasn’t sure what to get Toddler Child. A whole load of stuff that will clutter my home and she might play with once or twice before forgetting it’s even there or something really fabulous that can grow with her….. then it hit me….

A DOLL HOUSE!!!!! ~YAY~

Trouble is… have you seen the price of those things? They’re like super expensive. Now I’m a handy girl. I have tools and a few brain cells. You’re seeing my line of thinking now right….???? YES….. I decided to BUILD ONE….. so tonight, I find myself in the hardware store buying sheets of MDF and bits and bobs I think I will need. Some nice new blades for the jigsaw and I lug em all home.

I have spent the evening looking for plans online. There aren’t many. I did however find this fabulous picture and it doesn’t look too hard to make in terms of the design… i.e the cutting and sticking. It can’t be hard really can it…..

Well, we’re about to find out….. thanks to my wonderful friend’s suggestion….. I will be blogging the progress of this thing. She must have alot of faith cause she’s already sourcing furniture…. OMG! I have a project on my hands here. Wish me luck…. am off to bed with graph paper and rulers cause I have to make sure this thing is 1/12th scale and all. Need to make a pattern before I cut into that wood!!!

Before you ask….. I will tell you….. NO! I have NO experience whatsoever of carpentry OR building tiny things. What I have found out tonight though is that the furniture is 1/12th scale and that it’s fiddly. I can also warn you that if this new venture turn out anything like my cake decorating skills I TRIED to acquire over the last year… Poor kid hasn’t a hope in hell of opening a doll house this Christmas or even next Christmas for that matter!

Night night… I have an early start! Going to the library to find some “Doll House Making for Dummies” books!!! xoxo

 
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Posted by on October 20, 2011 in Christmas, Doll House, Oct 2011

 

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