Oh how I wish Santa really did exist. But never mind. I’m a grown up now… I can deal with it, really, I can! Anyways…. The point of my story…. we all know Santa DOES NOT exist but we like getting lots of presents still. I don’t know about you, but there’s still a rather large child inside of me who loves waking up and unwrapping lots of presents. Thing is though, the world seems to be in an even bigger economic crisis than last year. So this year I thought I would be helpful. I know my family will be out buying me all sorts of presents and I don’t want them to waste their precious money.
SO I SENT THEM ALL AN EMAIL!
“Here’s a little listy of things I would like for Christmas….
A NICE shower cap…… for my new shower experience!
A set of NICE glasses for drinking in ( I am down to about 2 glass ones…. everything else is plastic and don’t ask me why, but thanks to people coming here with wine AND GLASSES… I have plenty wine glasses but NO WINE!!!!!)
Alcohol in the form of rum, cheap box wine (pink) or knock off Baileys is always welcome.
A manicure and a baby sitter while I go have one.
A house in the med – a warm part, preferably English speaking as I am too old to learn a new language.
Monogrammed towels and bathrobe for my pool by my house in the med.
Sore throat spray (just cause I have a really really sore throat like RIGHT NOW and it’s hurting like mad)
A really nice ceramic plant pot as I currently have one of my plants in nasty brown plastic containers sitting in a tupperware bowl ON DISPLAY IN MY LIVING ROOM!
Art for my wall (it’s my new thing) or frames (since I finally got a battery for my camera and plan on taking photos again)
I’d like my Kitchen Aid mixer to be fixed so I can keep supplying the family with breads and cakes and I hate kneading dough or whipping by hand
“Raising your Spirited Child” the WORKBOOK by Mary S. Kurcinka – I’d like the book too but I can maybe borrow that in the library
Some muscle men to wrestle cash out of those who owe it to me so I can get the noose of debt off from round my neck and live without fear of bailiffs.
A Lifetime supply of ciggies or a magic pill to take ciggie cravings away forever
Vouchers for electricity company so I can have some heating on! (I think I have finally succumbed to winter today… it’s cold today eh?)
I think that’s it. Of course frivolous items are always welcomed as well or in favour of…… but in light of current economic climate….. If you’re really stuck for ideas that would be of some use to me…… knock yourselves out…..
I DO NOT NEED CLOTHES, SHOES, UNDERWEAR OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT I WEAR ON MY PERSON…… UNLESS OF COURSE YOU WERE PLANNING ON BUYING ME A TWIN SET OF PEARLS, AN ETERNITY PLATINUM DIAMOND RING OR 1CT DIAMOND EAR RINGS.
Love you all!!!”
My sister called to tell me she got my list. She laughed….. I know it must be because she wants me to think I am getting nothing so I will still be surprised. I spoke with my mother and my father on separate occasions today. I KNOW they read their emails because they sent me emails about other things…. So I guess they must have bought me stuff already and are really disappointed that they didn’t get my recommendations in time. My son however…. I think he’s getting me the house in the Med! He sent me this reply…..
I would to like to say that i loved your writing style.. its so mad! and funny too…
Plus i wont give you the Lifetime supply of ciggies or a magic pill to take ciggie cravings away forever…it would cost me LOTS
And what the hell is a house in the med?
From your silly son “
I can’t wait for Christmas…. of course I sent him a response immediately with a picture of just what I’m looking for! Hope someone gets me the wine to sit by the pool with!