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Hello Recession, bend over so I can kick your butt!


stressreducer.org

Ok… so I have been quite ill. I’m getting better. Thanks for all your well wishes. Having been lying in bed for a long time with nothing but the TV for company really, I found myself watching alot of news. It’s also pretty hard to think cheerful humourous thoughts when you feel like crap and all that’s  in the news is more and more coverage about the failing global economy, increased rates of unemployment and more and more countries needing financial bailouts. We’re all feeling the personal pinch and effects as well. It’s not a pinch but more of an arm wrench that rips your rotator cuff round so hard you think you’ll never recover. So I started a debate with myself over the last few days. A debate I am sure many people across the globe have either had already, are having or going to have with themselves…..

What the hell do you do when it seems like every door you get to is shut and you feel like you are hitting your head against a brick wall???

It’s no secret… the world is in an economic global crisis…. and there seems to be no end to it either. Unemployment rates are rising. Currently, the rate of unemployment in the US is 9% and the UK not far behind at 8.3%.  People are losing their jobs through redundancy, dismissals (companies are using every excuse they can to avoid redundancy and just fire staff for RIDICULOUS misconduct that would have been previously overlooked) and the unemployed are finding it increasingly harder and harder to find a job at all.

http://www.ft.com UK unemployment Dec 2011

So what does one do? It’s not a personal problem. It’s not like you can rewrite and refine your resume or applications, there’s just no job openings to send them to. Or if there is, there’s probably a hundred other people sending applications as well. Getting a job these days is a job in itself. There’s some seriously stiff competition and you can feel sometimes like you are hitting your head against a wall. No matter what you do, what avenue you try….. there’s just no end of disappointment, frustration and FAILURE!

There’s nothing you can do really. Or is there? There I was… lying in bed, debating with myself… what could I do. What was I not doing? I have worked on and off on temporary contracts for the last couple of years. No one wants to give permanent contracts these days. They can’t commit to spending the money long term when the economy is so unstable. How could I get a permanent job? I don’t want to be unemployed! I’m smart. For heaven’s sakes….. I have a degree…. I have a post graduate degree as well. I’m pretty highly qualified come to think of it. But I am not alone. There are alot of highly qualified people out there unable to get jobs. Even getting a menial job is hard because they tell you that you are OVER qualified….. see what I mean…..

BRICK FRICKING WALLS!!!!

I lay there contemplating what I could do to change this situation…. clearly I couldn’t change the global economy now could I. But perhaps I could change MY ECONOMY. It was time to stop hitting my head against the brick wall…. I was fed up… every time I thought there would be light at the end of the tunnel or a door that I could open, I was wrong. This was no time for waiting for fate anymore. It is time to take charge.

TIME TO BUST A HOLE THROUGH THE WALL!

dreamstime.com

Maybe the fever really has made me delirious. Maybe now that I can breathe a little easier and I must admit…. I feel like smoking….. but I WILL NOT. Maybe I have watched too much news and had a panic attack but whatever, all I know is, is that if I keep hoping job opportunities are going to come up, I might sit here forever waiting for one…… certainly if I keep waiting for one in the line of work for which I have been trained. Time to think outside to box. Time to figure out how my skills can transfer. Time to take some risks. But you know what…..

CHANGE IS SCARY!

Busting holes through walls sounds great in principle but it is freaking scary in practice. As humans, we spend our lives defining. As small children are moulded and trained by our parents. We then start taking over the moulding process when we decide who and what we want to be when we grow  up. We dream, we plan we educate and equip ourselves for these dreams we want to fulfil. By the time we reach our middle ages;

WHAT WE DO DEFINES WHO WE ARE

So to pick up sticks and decide we’re gonna throw all that away and start from scratch is like taking a security blanket away from a baby. But you know what….. what is there to be afraid of really????? I debated that in my head for a few hours and all I could come up with was this…..

I was afraid of failing.

google images

Let’s face it though, looking for a future in the career I spent years training to be in was failing dismally anyways, not by any fault of my own, but did that make it ok to fail? To hide behind the security blanket of….. “it’s not my fault, the economy is shit and there aren’t any jobs” so I’ll just sit here opening and closing doors till I find a way out?

sun.co.uk

I decided NOT…… so I’m changing career. Don’t ask me what yet….. meeting a girlfriend on Monday and we are going to come up with a plan to take over the world together. In fact…. she sent me this picture today…. We’re both going to change career and throw out everything we ever knew. We will fall, we will fail but we are determined to at least try and kick Recession’s butt. All can do is what I do anyway…… don’t sweat it… laugh at it. So here we go….. another rollercoaster….. buckle up!

 
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Posted by on December 16, 2011 in Career, Dec 2011, Smoking

 

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Dear Santa….. it’s me….. I’ve been good!


Oh how I wish Santa really did exist. But never mind. I’m a grown up now… I can deal with it, really, I can! Anyways…. The point of my story…. we all know Santa DOES NOT exist but we like getting lots of presents still. I don’t know about you, but there’s still a rather large child inside of me who loves waking up and unwrapping lots of presents. Thing is though, the world seems to be in an even bigger economic crisis than last year. So this year I thought I would be helpful. I know my family will be out buying me all sorts of presents and I don’t want them to waste their precious money.

SO I SENT THEM ALL AN EMAIL!

“Here’s a little listy of things I would like for Christmas….

A NICE shower cap…… for my new shower experience!

A set of NICE glasses for drinking in ( I am down to about 2 glass ones…. everything else is plastic and don’t ask me why, but thanks to people coming here with wine AND GLASSES… I have plenty wine glasses but NO WINE!!!!!)

Alcohol in the form of rum, cheap box wine (pink) or knock off Baileys is always welcome.

A manicure and a baby sitter while I go have one.

A house in the med – a warm part, preferably English speaking as I am too old to learn a new language.

Monogrammed towels and bathrobe for my pool by my house in the med.

Sore throat spray (just cause I have a really really sore throat like RIGHT NOW and it’s hurting like mad)

A really nice ceramic plant pot as I currently have one of my plants in nasty brown plastic containers sitting in a tupperware bowl ON DISPLAY IN MY LIVING ROOM!

Art for my wall (it’s my new thing) or frames (since I finally got a battery for my camera and plan on taking photos again)

I’d like my Kitchen Aid mixer to be fixed so I can keep supplying the family with breads and cakes and I hate kneading dough or whipping by hand

“Raising your Spirited Child” the WORKBOOK by Mary S. Kurcinka – I’d like the book too but I can maybe borrow that in the library

Some muscle men to wrestle cash out of those who owe it to me so I can get the noose of debt off from round my neck and live without fear of bailiffs.

A Lifetime supply of ciggies or a magic pill to take ciggie cravings away forever

Vouchers for electricity company so I can have some heating on! (I think I have finally succumbed to winter today… it’s cold today eh?)

I think that’s it. Of course frivolous items are always welcomed as well or in favour of…… but in light of current economic climate….. If you’re really stuck for ideas that would be of some use to me…… knock yourselves out…..

I DO NOT NEED CLOTHES, SHOES, UNDERWEAR OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT I WEAR ON MY PERSON…… UNLESS OF COURSE YOU WERE PLANNING ON BUYING ME A TWIN SET OF PEARLS, AN ETERNITY PLATINUM DIAMOND RING OR 1CT DIAMOND EAR RINGS.

Love you all!!!”

My sister called to tell me she got my list. She laughed….. I know it must be because she wants me to think I am getting nothing so I will still be surprised. I spoke with my mother and my father on separate occasions today. I KNOW they read their emails because they sent me emails about other things…. So I guess they must have bought me stuff already and are really disappointed that they didn’t get my recommendations in time. My son however…. I think he’s getting me the house in the Med! He sent me this reply…..

“Hi,

I would to like to say that i loved your writing style.. its so mad! and funny too…
Plus i wont give you the Lifetime supply of ciggies or a magic pill to take ciggie cravings away forever…it would cost me  LOTS
 And what the hell is a house in the med? 

From your silly son “

I can’t wait for Christmas…. of course I sent him a response immediately with a picture of just what I’m looking for! Hope someone gets me the wine to sit by the pool with!

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2011 in Christmas

 

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